Friday, April 30, 2010

A moment to breathe....

Who would have thought this day would come soooo flipping fast!!! Tomorrow... well getting close to today... will be the day that changes my life. Diem and I moving to Arizona!!! I am so nervous, and yet scared all at the same time. I dont know what to do or think.... but It is time for a new change of pace.

For those who dont know... Since October, I have been going to therapy. I just had my last session with my therapist yesterday... and she knows I am a writer. She told me to keep a journal.... well I figured today, I would do my journal entry here. Since I am writing about people I am close to.

I had to say my "see you laters" today, since I dont say "good bye" as those are permanent. It was 3 short visits that really tore at me today...

Lena, Drew and Jenna....

Lena you were the easiest to say see you later. I know you and I will yahoo messenger, blog, send mail etc. etc... I know you will always there for me as youre my big sister and my bestie! Thank you for always being there, and I am sure I am going to need you more now than ever! Sorry mom and I left you with Barney though.

Okay.

Drewper. He was the hardest I think. Oh my... We had a wonderful visit... and then when he had to leave, gave me a hug... I instantly got teary eyed... I didnt want to go. Drew you make me so happy and I am very thankful for having you in my life... Youre an amazing individual and thank you for talking to me about EVERYTHING! Except for a few things that I havent even mentioned to you yet!!! When we left, and you pulled out in front of us, what really got me was Diem crying over you. She has gotten really attached to you and Tuck. "DREW AND TUCK ARE LEAVING US!!!" as she screamed from her car seat with tears running down her face. I hurt for her. It sucks getting attached to someone and then having them go away for a while. Drew, I love you, and thank you for being you. Thank you for writing me on facebook chat this evening and talking to me about everything... I almost poured my heart out to you... but I didnt. I did finally break down into tears though...

Jenna....
WHAT THE FRENCH TOAST!!! you and I have gone through so much together over the course of our friendship. It was great to spend some time with you on our trip to the post office and what not. Checking out the lady that is really a man.. haha holding hands and picking flowers with Diem. Gossiping... Trying to take a cute picture etc. etc. I cannot wait until June!!! I really hope you will be able to make it down and we can spend time together before your real live 25th birthday!!! You and I have had some serious heart to hearts, and a lot of tears shed because of it. Thank you for being my rock. Thank you for helping me discover myself. I know we will email everyday... well Monday through Friday. Because that is what we do. But please... remember my rules...

No going to the pub wearing a dress and pulling a Brittney.
No dancing with any other Emily Wilson's... just this one.
Dont replace me, and never forget GO TEXAS!
No other lesbian lovers when you go to the bar.... that is my job in one of those awkward moments!! Like the black guy on Saturday ahahahahahaha....

I am sure I will make a bunch of rules for you and they will always make us laugh... Just like this, and I will leave you with this Jen.... NOT FOR ONE DOLLAR! IM NOT THAT KIND OF GIRL.... NOT FOR ONE DOLLAR!!!

Ugh. I am one emotional wreck. What the heck. I better get to bed. As I have to leave Redwood Valley at like 10:30 tomorrow.. for my 12:50 flight out of Santa Rosa, only to arrive at 2:30 in Vegas.

Thank you for the good times Ukiah/Redwood Valley. I am sure I will be back for a visit soon.... but only to see the people who matter the most to me. I love you and thank you for helping grow to where I am so I can expand my horizons as you guys all knew I had the potential for. Thank you.

I will leave you on the note of here is a pretty picture to enjoy. And a picture of me and my last rain in Redwood Valley.






1 comments:

Lena said...

sure sure make me cry ( i know i know no crying). Im sure youll have a blast in Arizona ( till it gets 120 degrees!!!!) and ill miss you but I know we will keep in touch since we both love to make cards and write :) love ya bestie! Give diem kisses and fishes for me haha.

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